It’s a disaster just how much
the fear flickers in my mind
All the time
Clocks ticking
Hissing more really
A nest of snakes I’ve woken
By stepping on them all simultaneously
Hi
Hi snakes
Hi ssssnakessss
It’s such a puzzle, a switch I can’t seem to hitch off
Naked if I don’t protect myself
Naked if I do
Even a child of four can see what a loss that is
Boo
Boo hoo
Boo hoooo hoooo
There’s no use crying they say
But I gobble up tears like
So much manna
The nectar the honey
Food
Good
Food
Good God Food
I am a god
I am
I have the manna
I dictate to the snakes
I control the clocks
It’s so obvious now
Such a fit
How did I miss it?
***
Welcome to The ALIVE hour.
Illustration: Shannon Colón
Audio mixing + music: Chloe Riley
Narrative: Libby Battaglia
Things found in real life
This wallpaper detail of a boy herding his goat:
This magnificent tea with all of its cute little things (milk, honey, hot for hours):
Things found on the internet
This excerpt from the Sandra Cisnero essay “Eleven”:
What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don't. You open your eyes and everything's just like yesterday, only it's today. And you don't feel eleven at all. You feel like you're still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven.
This observation from writer/director/life observer Sarah Polley:
So I realized that I’m a grown-ass, forty-three-year-old woman and I am actually in control of this production right now. The truth is that I’ve had agency and choice for a long time, I just didn’t notice.
This milk and cookies cake, made by New York Times columnist Roxane Gay in tribute to her younger brother, Joel, who died last year.
Don’t limit your cakes to birthdays or special occasions, Gay says. Eat them whenever you want.
Magic things
See the photo from today’s episode on The ALIVE hour, *magic edition,* here. ✨
***
Bake the cake. Eat the cake. Don’t wait. <3
The ALIVE hour